Everyone Deserves Happiness
by ChildofBabylon
Summary: Sort of a Prequil to noone should be alone for christmas, but it is ok to follow on afterwards or as oneshot I think. Anyway its done from what one of our lovely ladies is thinking of her afterlife.


**Hey Guys, **

**So whilst I've been planning my new fic (which will hopefully be getting started shortly) I was thinking of how much I liked _Noone Should Be Alone for Christmas_** **And I thought should I add to it? So I thought, what could be going on in the pub? And what are the others thinking? Anyway if you like it let me know and I may see about adding an "after Alex return"sey bit or maybe something else. Hey who knows! And if you don't like it still let me know, that way I can try to stop what mistakes it is. So let me know. please. **

**Tilly xxx **

**Oh And No I do not own any of these fab characters or the Railway Arms (Even though I'll be hoping to go there when I die.. Woah... too obsessive? Meh You lot are as bad as me otherwise you wouldn't be here ;)) ANYWAY yeah, so they are property of Kudos and the BBC. Sigh***

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><p>Sharon Granger had finally come to terms with her death. She could remember the way the pointed tip of the screwdriver had pierced her skin and the way the tool had sickeningly slid easily through her flesh. She remembered crumpling to the floor in the middle of the street as her own blood soaked her uniform and her hands. She remembered as little splatters had turned into a puddle on the dirty London path and she remembered how she had feared for her life as the pain overtook her senses and she had slid into darkness crying and wishing for her mum. That thought just seemed ridiculous now she was here in this odd version of heaven because even though she had grown up believing in the pearly white gates and the angels she would not have counted this pub to be heaven if someone had told her about it a couple of years before. Yet here she was, basking in her afterlife in an old seventies Manchester pub drinking, laughing and loving life (was that the correct term here?) No, she would never have said that this would have been her ideal heaven back in the real world yet somehow it made sense being here with her friends. Her soul was truly at peace.<p>

It stung at first, the memories and the bitterness that the reality she had surrounded herself within was all an illusion and that the family she had created in the other world were in fact constructs. She fought with bitterness at how wrong and unfair it was for her life to be ended at such a young age but had her death in the real world not happened, she would not have met Chris. He was her everything. Her Div, lover and soul mate all rolled into one and he may not be the brightest spark but everything he did, he did for her and she would never be able to see why. Shaz had never thought that she was repulsive or anything like that and in both worlds she had shared her amount of boyfriends but she always viewed men in her early experience to adore gorgeous women. Women with long hair, big bright eyes, with the perfect lips and creamy skin with big boobs and tiny waists, women who were very often unobtainable. Yet once she had cracked down her male colleagues and friends in CID she realised that this was all an act. She realised it was a front and that these guys liked confidence in a girl and that they liked personality. Well, most of them anyway, probably with the exclusion of Ray but then even he had a soft side but Chris had seen Shaz for the person who she was; he admired her heart and often said that she was "as brave as a lion." And Shaz loved him too. Of course he had mucked it up when he had proposed to her and they were arranging their wedding, going against the team to buy her the perfect wedding had to be his stupidest moment and yet oddly, one of his most romantic. In a very bitter and screwed up way as he had shown he would go to all lengths to ensure she had everything she wanted and that she meant more to him than his own job. Not to mention he was funny and despite his naivety he always wanted to do the right thing. She remembered the countless times he had made himself look innocently stupid in front of the team when he had tried to impress her. Yes she loved Christopher Skelton with her heart and soul and she loved that they would be able to spend the rest of eternity with each other.

She also understood why she had to live through the other world and she understood why nobody could go back out of the Railway Arms. _Mind you_, she thought, _who would want to go out?_ Everybody this side of the pub doors were happy, they were at peace with themselves. Those years in the other world had proved valuable to each and every individual here by making them into the best police officers they could be and some like herself even managed to find their beloved. Shaz sat back in her chair, her hand still resting on Chris' thigh a small smile of contentment upon her lips. She looked around Chris was nattering in her ear about the latest joke working its way around the pub to which Shaz rolled her eyes, Ray was poorly chatting up a WPC by the bar and was surprisingly getting closer to achieving his goal. She looked at the opposite end of the room; Sam and Annie where only a couple of tables away lost deep within each other.

Shaz remembered entering the pub and the sudden irrational fear that caught her off guard for a moment when Chris led her towards Sam and Annie's table. She already knew who they were without the introduction and their legacy that they had left behind them was so great that Shaz felt that she were walking among the Gods, it was almost threatening this unreasonable apprehension, yet as they began to speak she felt at home and the friendly couple had welcomed her to the clan with open arms. She had also noted how Sam looked at Chris with that of an elder brother's fondness. He was proud of him and that thought made Shaz blush. Unlike Ray though, Sam took on the role as more of the mentor rather than the practical joker and it appeared that they really all were one big family. Annie was great too, she often had long and deep conversations with Shaz and she always made sure that she had time for her. As if the woman in question had heard her thoughts, Annie's gaze flicked towards Shaz who gave her a wink and then Annie had returned her focus to Sam. Now those two where worse than her and Chris, they were inseparable!

Eventually Shaz' gaze fell to the form tucked away in the corner of the room. She was half hidden in the shadows with her knees tucked up and resting against the edge of the small table, her head resting against her knees. The sight of Alex Drake truly broke Shaz' heart. Shaz had watched the woman's heart plummet and the young girl had watched as the grief had slowly taken over the remarkable woman in front of her. She didn't deserve it, DI Drake was considered Shaz' very own guardian angel she was such a star. Yet Shaz just didn't know how to make the woman feel better, she couldn't bring her daughter here because she was still alive and she didn't know whether the Guv would eventually walk through the doors either. It seemed unfair for the older woman and Shaz had cried with her on occasion, helping her to grieve for her lost loves.

Nobody knew how long they had been in the pub anymore, nobody really cared. Shaz was guessing it was around Christmas time though as Nelson had managed to place bits of tinsel and mistletoe around the bar a couple of weeks ago in a poor attempt to make it look festive. None of it mattered though, everyone was happy. Well almost. Shaz sighed to herself, she really did feel bad for Alex. She watched as Ray also looked towards Alex's huddled form and went and sat next to her completely ignoring his date's conversation. She watched as Alex stiffened in Ray's embrace as he hugged her, she watched as he whispered something into her ear and she watched as Alex gripped onto him and sobbed into his jumper. It truly was heartbreaking. At the same time she was also pleased to see Ray taking care of her, he had tried since they had first entered. When Sam had asked Ray why he had done so, Ray had shrugged,

"Guv would have me bollocks on a spike if 'e found out that we weren't keeping 'er safe." He mumbled. This had earned him a few smiles and giggles. How could they all complain though? Ray had actually found that he could comfort her. Shaz knew that Alex only spoke to very few people now and that was mostly Ray, Sam, Annie and herself. Chris didn't see her by herself he was too afraid that he would say the wrong thing. Bless. Wasn't his fault. Or hers. It was just something that was and would be until a certain somebody walked through the doors. If they walked through the doors. Ray had actually proven to be a star though, he always sat with her every day, sometimes she would engage in conversation, other times he would do the talking and sometimes like now, he would hold her whilst she cried. Nobody understood their connection but they obviously had one and there was nothing sexual about it, it was just simply a friend comforting another friend.

Sam had also managed to talk to her on occasion, asking her and laughing with her at how she reacted when she first found herself in the other world. Teasing her that she thought he was mad in the real world when he knew he wasn't and then that she thought she was mad. As Shaz was deep in thought she hadn't realised Sam and Annie had made their way over to the table, she jumped when she felt Annie's hand on her shoulder.

"Holy moley Annie! You scared me for a minute there!" She grinned up at the older woman her hand flying to her heart in surprise.

"We were wondering if we could sit with you?" Annie asked her to which Shaz automatically nodded.

"You know you can love, you don't have to ask." Chris had smiled signalling to the chairs opposite them to which the couple took a seat. Sam looked over his right shoulder towards Alex and Ray.

"It'll always surprise me, how much he gets on with her." Sam said into the pint he had brought over.

"To be honest I didn't think Ray was capable of any feelings towards a woman if it wasn't about sex." Annie giggled her tongue behind her teeth.

"Well, he did say when she first got 'ere that he would happily pay for 'er time and a chance to play with her crackin' pair of puppies" Chris' hand shot to his mouth as if he was trying to physically force the words back into his mouth. Shaz looked at Sam and Annie before laughing out loud both of them sat with their mouths hung open in shock as they stole a quick glance at Ray and Alex before bursting into fits of giggles too.

"Oh no, no, no. That is not an image I want to see." Annie gasped between giggles, trying to control herself but she failed when Ray had reached the table sending the group into fits of fresh hysterics.

"What's up with you lot?" He asked his brow threaded together in confusion.

"I wouldn't tell you if you _paid_ me mate," Chris managed before they all started again.

"Eh?" He asked his brow creasing in confusion, he looked slightly over his shoulder shyly in a self conscious movement before pulling up another chair.

Shaz grinned and shook her head.

"It doesn't matter Ray," She grinned."So any news?"

Rays smile wavered slightly as his gaze briefly flicked to Alex and back again. "She's noticed the decorations."

Everyone on the table grimaced, they couldn't help but feel bad for her, they each had somebody, even Ray could find somebody if he wanted. Problem was Alex Drake only had eyes for one man and he wasn't here. Annie looked at Sam and nodded her head in a vague movement of encouragement before she turned to Chris and took his hand. Shaz' eyes widened a little and she opened her mouth to speak when she saw Annie take Ray's too.

"You both have such wonderful strong hands, I wonder which would do best if we set them alight?" Annie smirked mischievously as both boys pulled them away.

"We already tried that at Luigi's Love, and it didn't end too pretty." Chris looked down to the floor as Ray sniggered at him.

"Yeah, and guess who won that one! Me, cos' I 'aven't got poofy soft girly hands like 'im or Tyler!" Ray laughed at Chris who had shrunken further into his chair. Shaz looked over at Sam clearly sensing some sort of ploy. Instead Sam placed his finger to his lips as they watched briefly as Annie lured the two other men into lighting their fingers again. Sam silently motioned Shaz to come with him as he made his way over to Alex's table. He whispered into Shaz's ear as they walked.

"Only wanted it to be you, Ray and Annie have already tried talking to her so things need a soft approach and your good at that besides I want to try to reach out to her." Sam said before he gestured Shaz to take a seat beside Alex as he took the other. They left the seat opposite her untouched.

Shaz asked Alex if she wanted to come over and sit with them as she briefly told her about Annie encouraging Ray and Chris' childish side by getting them to set alight to their fingers and apparently now their farts. Shaz' stomach gave a tiny flutter of hope when she heard Alex's chuckle but Sam had started to speak to her.

"Come on Alex, sit with us for a little while?" He asked her inclining his head towards Annie and the two boys, Sam looked back and chuckled at the disgusted expression on his partner's face.

"I'm fine here thanks Sam." Alex whispered casting her eyes back to the table top. Shaz sighed she knew that Alex would have answered like this.

"Please Ma'am, you never know the boys might succeed," Shaz grinned though it looked a little forced upon her pretty young face. Alex looked back up into the younger girl's fresh face and half smiled.

"I don't think you can really class pyromania as a success Shaz," Shaz' smile turned genuine as she thought how that last statement sounded so much like the old Alex but Shaz' face dropped again when Alex began shaking her head. "Really though, I would much rather wait here."

Sam studied her for a moment before sliding his hand across the table and lifting her hand in his own, he squeezed her fingers gently as he noted how she tensed.

"I know why you're doing this Alex, he isn't coming yet. You know he can't just enter those doors, he has a job to do." Sam's eyes where fixed on her face waiting for her reaction, he knew that she would probably just faze herself out of the world around her and retreat into herself. Instead she surprised him when she pulled her hand out of his rather forcefully.

"I know what he has to do Sam but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, I miss him and I lo-. I miss him" Alex looked away again her voice dropping and unable to form the word which explained her heartache the most.

"I know Alex but would he really want you to be moping about like this?" Sam's voice had softened into a calming lull. Alex's head snapped up at his words and she met his gaze full on with a hard glare. Shaz squirmed in her seat slightly uncomfortable, she had seen like Alex many times like this before but it was with the Guv so she knew that everything would be okay. They had always fought like cat and dog but Alex was unstable, she was hurt and she was broken now.

"Honestly Sam? I think he wanted this. He sent me away. I didn't bring this on myself, he wanted me to suffer it was just me being ridiculously stupid to let him get to me like this. He doesn't care." Her voice had taken on a low hiss and her shoulders squared in defence. Shaz noted how Sam's lips twitched, _Ah so he has noticed her change then? _Shaz thought.

"You know that that's a pathetic excuse Alex. You forget that I know how you feel. Can you remember when I came back? What I was like without Annie?" Sam added trying to sympathise with her but instead she just glared at him.

"Really Sam? Well at least you managed to get back to her. At least you don't have two people in separate worlds that you love yet know that you can't have either of them. You could make your choice, you had a decision for which one you wanted the most. I didn't have any of was a few months of separation when you can have her for an eternity now? I might not ever get Gene or Molly back" Alex hissed, her eyes squinting into vicious slits. Shaz and Sam sat shocked in their seats, Alex hardly spoke to anyone anymore yet now she had been snarling at Sam and even showing emotion. She had admitted that she loved the Guv too. Shaz reached out her hand and gently stroked the older woman's soft hair as Alex's demeanour faltered and she collapsed into Shaz' embrace.

"I'm sorry Alex I shouldn't have-" Sam tried to apologise before Alex cut him off in her mumbled voice.

"No. You shouldn't have." She peeked her eyes out from where she was hiding in Shaz' shoulder "Please Sam just, leave me alone."

Shaz watched as Alex turned her face back into her body and as Sam muttered an apology before leaving the table. Shaz continued stroking her hair, and whispering loving words about how much she was loved here, that they needed her too, that Molly was safe. She didn't mention Gene.

Shaz hadn't noticed Nelson's approach but she soon detached herself from Alex and left them both to talk. She took herself over to the bar where a young girl by the name of Alison handed her a drink. She said her thanks and continued to watch Alex and Nelson, he seemed to whisper something in her ear where she shook her head and then looked up at him for a few moments. She watched how Nelson said something else to her and offered Alex a tissue, Shaz noticed how Alex accepted it and started dabbing at her eyes. Then she smiled. Now Shaz was confused, it wasn't a full smile but rather an unsure one but nevertheless it was there. Nelson wasn't part of the people who spoke to Alex daily, whenever he usually tried she closed him off or started shouting. Alex had blamed Nelson for not allowing Gene to come enter the pub with her yet she also knew that it wasn't his fault and that the Guv simply wasn't ready. Alex actually looked hopeful though as she sat up a little straighter and her hand had fisted to ball his shirt at his chest, it was in anger Shaz could tell by Alex's stance. It looked like she was almost _begging_. Shaz took another sip of her drink, she really did feel for her Ma'am, she thought that she had finally learnt how to cope but apparently not. Then something changed as Alex stood with Nelson and made her way through to the back of the pub. Shaz frowned _what were they up to?_ Alex never left her seat for fear she would miss the Guv walk through the doors, she didn't smile or even hope anymore. And she certainly didn't beg. Shaz didn't have time to ponder though as Nelson appeared behind the bar for a brief moment seemingly busy. When he saw the dark haired girl's curious and very confused gaze he gave her a toothy grin.

"Don't worry pretty girl, she'll be back soon. It is Christmas and everyone deserves happiness!"


End file.
